IELTS ESSAY TOPIC
In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whom does it affect more, parents or children?
Essay Answer by one of our students
There is no denying this conviction that spending time with children is crucial for both. However, many people are failing to do so. I believe excessive work engagement is a possible cause behind this trend and children have more profound impact than parents. The primary cause is excessive involvement in work.
In this contemporary era, people are becoming workaholic and spend a lot of time at workplace instead of home. To fulfil their needs and increase their income for survival and for the future of their kids, people tend to work more than they supposed to do. Hence, parents barely get time to spend with their offsprings. I would like to request to support these several first world countries such as Japan and South Korea where the demand of child caretaker has rise at 92% because their 70% population are actively working and cannot take care of their children.
Consequently, children are getting affected by this tendency since one crucial factor is that children are getting unhealthy and adopting sedentary lifestyle by being glued to their technological devices. As a result, in many kids, values and social skills are declined considerably and continue to do so. In future, it would segregate them from the society. For example, in the USA, most of the children have mental health issues because they are not able to develop emotion and thoughts.
In conclusion, the lack of bonding is a grave concern that affects thousands of families worldwide especially children. It is advised that parents should maintain work-life balance between personal and professional life otherwise the well-being of not only the current generation but also the posterity is in jeopardy.
Essay Answer after corrections
There is no denying this conviction that spending time with children is crucial for individuals. However, many people need help to do so. I believe excessive work engagement is a possible cause behind this trend, and children have a more profound impact than parents.
In this contemporary era, people are becoming workaholics and spend much time at the workplace instead of at home. To fulfil their needs and increase their income for survival and their kids’ future, people tend to expend more energy at their workplaces. Hence, parents barely get time to spend with their offspring. Several first-world countries, such as Japan and South Korea, are prime examples of this trend. The demand for child caretakers has risen by 92% because 70% of the population is actively working and cannot care for their children.
Consequently, children are affected by this tendency since one crucial factor is that children are becoming unhealthy and adopting a sedentary lifestyle by being glued to their technological devices. As a result, in many kids, values and social skills have declined considerably and continue to do so. In the future, it would segregate them from society. For example, in the USA, most children have mental health issues because they are not able to develop emotions and thoughts.
In conclusion, the trend of parents remaining engaged in work leads to less interaction with children. This trend is counterproductive for society as it leads to a tremendous decline in the physical and mental health of children.